I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
