It's Friday. Sex?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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