Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
