She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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