Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
