So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
