dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
