Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
