we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize