absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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