Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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