I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
