Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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