Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
