i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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