you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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