i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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