I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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