I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
