just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize