I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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