You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize