Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
