...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
