I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
