I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
