he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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