The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
