I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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