she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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