Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my poor anus
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
