what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
