When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
They have beer where we have blood.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
