i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
