why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize