he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
