Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
