i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
