Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Fuck me I smell like cheese
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
