Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
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