he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
