I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
