Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
