Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
