Capitaan dildo arrescate!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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