We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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