did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
