I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize