she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize