Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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