What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
