She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
