Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
