don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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