If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
