Im at strip club and am horny
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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