so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize