We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
