I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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