five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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