His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
