so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
and she was petting her beer can
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
