He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
