i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
