hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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