if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize