It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
