I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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