my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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