Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize