I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
