I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
