Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
