only if we run a train.
done.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
