ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize