The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
