Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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