i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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