so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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