nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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